I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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