For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
