have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
