great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
