I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i dont even know how to be here
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
