He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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