so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
