is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
