So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
