You really coming over, don't trick.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
last night I used snow as a chaser
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