Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You've changed since you got that strap on
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize