Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It's blow job season.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
