I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
