You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
