She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Your cock deserves a montage
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
