It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Randomize
