Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
