Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize