I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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