Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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