Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
