His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize