shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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