Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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