I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
