she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
