brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Floor bacon is actually really good
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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