I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
sarcasm needs its own font
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
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