My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
if only i could text you this smell
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
