Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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