worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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