2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
