Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
