ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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