i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
it was like eating out sand paper
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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