Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
