maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
It's just like the Real World with babies
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
