playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
