come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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