ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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