i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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