she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
