Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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