found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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