And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
