He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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