That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
wow bdsm is so cute
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize