Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
