YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
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