I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
