brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
