Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
