Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
