no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Randomize