I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
