How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize