Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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