Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
