i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
