I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Will exercising make me less horny?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
