their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize