I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I just want nice things and good sex
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
