now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
