Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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