I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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