Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
