you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Terrible idea I love it
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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