True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
