M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
