WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
