i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
either way he was missing a nipple.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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