Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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